Life is all about letting go. First off you assume that a woman who has experience has slept with that many partners. By the help of the Queen mother _= A RUNS GIRL TURNS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE !!! You live and you learn and then hopefully you do better, so if someone has slept with 99 different people, that doesnt mean there doesnt come a point in their lives where they are ready to settle and be in a committed relationship with just one. A person exposing the number of past partners has nothing to do with the present moments situation.. I until recently had felt like i had to end it with her, but as you said i am taking it one day at a time because i love her and she is a good person that had a shitty hand dealt to her. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. So lets be perfect in a less than perfect world and provide a few undeniable examples: Your RENT is due and it is $800 and you only have $620Do you have the right or wrong amount??? You are referencing a single paper? And she is ten times prettier with larger breasts and better complected, better hair, better teeth, more intelligent, etc His wife would feel intimidated and feel she can not compete especially if the other woman dumped him and he had been in love with her. 4) Past baggage (Kids, men, pictures, etc ex lovers who know her, pics or video of ex partners doing unspeakable things to your significant other, stories and reputation) Those refusing to acknowledge a persons sexual past are really the ones insecure about it, not those who ask. We all make mistakes, but many of us do learn from them and move in a better direction. I could care less but its true. Also many people dont realize there are tips for men who are not well endowed to still be able to bring a lot of pleasure to their wives. I myself agree with not judging a future mate depending solely on the number of past partners. I really do agree that the double standard about sex partners is ridiculous. you do? Personally, I think that men and women should strive to have a lower number of sexual partners but I don't think that women should try to act like men in the thinking that having numerous partners is a good thing. I like how you caught yourself on that : ). its not my pussy they love right my personality and attitude. (one-nighters) out of the 19 people Ive had sex with that I didnt get to Now although this may not be the route you chose when it comes to sexuality it doesnt make you better than or more wise than the girl or guy who chose to have 100 + partners. I respected her view so much. I dont know why I feel hurtas i said, I believe people have the right to do what they want. Show her that you've got more to offer than those others who weren't good enough and you'll do fine. Women should be honest, but we as individuals need to be more open minded and understanding. As for the sinful lifestyle, if that person is no longer living that life (or even if they are) then is not judging them still wrong? What does it matter how many people she's had sex with? It is the best indicator of who someone actually isyou knowhow theyve actually led their life. with his friend who was also married and he wanted to be with her. Altamera74, from a chicks point of view, you are going to end up a very sad and lonely man if you take that sort of attitude into your life when it comes to choosing a partner. Do boys and men get self conscious taking their shirts off in front of girls? In the end your selling yourself short. You think we want you all used up. She says that she really wants me to know the truth about her past and how many people she slept with. Probably not while having sex with her either. my gf was honest about her past and i constantly bring it up whenever we argue not saying its right but I cant help but think about the number all the time. YOU WOULD OWN THAT SHIT. That is all the article is trying to say. Hi Stephan, I dont see where you think I was insulting others. The Student Room and The Uni Guide are both part of The Student Room Group. But how will explain Him away on that terrifying, yet, Glorious Day when you actually do meet Him face to face? Cut it out and replace it with positive experiences. Their sexuality is not only welcomed, it is encouraged and exploited by media as well as sex-worker and sex-entertainment industries. Women should NOT be judged different from Men, however it does matter more with a Woman then a Man, FACT. Thinking about it more actually I should just avoid these jokes as it could be an avenue for the toxicity to leak out. Encourage people to better themselves? Some of the points you made in your last response was where I was trying to go, but duty called and I had to cut my post short. Would you REALLY want to buy that car after you heard that? Butit /is/ a fact that the more promiscuous the woman, the more likely she is to have a failed marriage. love you back! Now despite some of the accurate statements you made, the point is that women or people for that matter are not always the same person they once were. I accepted the same level of acceptance i had with him. I am 31 years They should We block love sometimes for all the wrong reasons, and how many men she has previously slept with should never be one of them. I am referencing a paper directly concerned with the subject, Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution Among Women., If perhaps you had read my posts below from last year, where I referenced this study, you wouldnt have made the invalid assumption that I believe something is true because I say it is.. Women are raised differently from men and each carry different values. You say we shouldnt judge someone on their past? LOL. If we had a daughter and son, our daughter would do those things as well because her mommy did those things so it must be ok for her to do it too. That should not deter you, if anything let it motivate you to just be better and become the best lover she has ever had. To ride is free. I just wanted to share so that some man one day can know hes not alone. Very true, plenty of sluts attempt to hide their sluttiness through subterfuge, yet they inevitably give off tells. Many of the modern women want to be as promiscuous as they please and then expect men not to judge them for it. someone to come along and love you for who you are? Beauty fades, parts get old. .Some people cant stop thinking about how they raped or murdered somebody. As far as Im concerned, he is the only man I can get sexually aroused by. Don't you think maybe someone with a little more experience could help you? Do you expect that guys would find equally as desirable and attractive as a life partner the woman who has slept with 100 men, as the woman who has been with 8? But its so true guys have to work harder. If you are a man with 3 children with 3 different mothers, there is something wrong. I hope you are able to get your anger issues under control. Women want a guy who wants a woman to love and respect herself to value a would you not prefer to be judged on who you are as a man today, or should any perceived mistakes you made in the past always be held over your head? Men are sure as hell trying to do it now! Planned Parenthood business is booming. lol Its cool man, I can see where somebody could view it as that. Being forced to settle for a woman who has been ridden like the town bike, and shared her body with dozens, if not hundreds of men is very weak, and very low-standard. Take care. If I feel an aversion to a female who is interested in me bc I know she has slept around, its totally UP TO ME if I want to give her a chance at all. Communicate expectations! Youre doing the right thing, love beats all just think how you would feel looking back at now when youre on your death bed about to pass onto the other realm. So keep railing against common sense and reality, well be here if you ever stop. We all spout platitudes about what our beliefs are, and often, these can be idealized versions of who we wish we were. Who you allow inside yourself matters. Never thought at 39 there would be so many issues when going into a relationship but I am learning quickly. He is attracted to children by nature. I completely agree with you that a woman's sexual health (i.e. 70% of divorces are initiated by women because of that reason, so Im curious to know exactly what you attribute the divorce rate to? Granted there are some women who embrace being free to do as they please sexually, and then there are some that get caught up for various reasons. Either way u go science or religion pretty much states the same thing. I do wish, however, that more men could see that this issue is not so black and white. Exploring a little bit and being willing to learn can make you a better lover. I totally agree! That's why I am so thankful that I have Jesus as my perso. You never know what a persons background isunless they tell you. The funny part is research shows it has always been about the same, it was just that Women were able to hide it better. Next!! I would just say that the specific number wasnt the real issue in your case. As sad as it seems, the fact is CERTAIN Men sleep with tons of Women, and many Women sleep if lots of Men. Look into the galena rhoades study. Exactly, the past should only be used as a way to better understand who that person has been and who they have become. Hi Stephan, I wasnt offended by the term- hoe stroll. Leave this poor woman alone she doesn't have the issue you do. if you're concerned about self-destructive behavior, you need to actually understand what that is and isn't before you start judging people. If you're honest more than likely you wouldn't. Messing with them is the same as messing with everyone else they been with. Everyone has the right to judge and they WILL until the end of time as we know it and there is not damn thing wrong with it!!! The reality is that many people marry for the wrong reasons. My girlfriend of 8 months told me in the beginning of the relationship she had only been with 2 other men which were her past relationships. You are the very reason Stefan was inspired to write this article. If a woman chooses to be a slut, there is a price to pay for that behavior with many men who will forever disqualify her from consideration as a serious partner to settle down with. I think many married couples lack a connection. But nonetheless your human bro. Women need to get it together!!!! Not just with them, but with you. Thats what alpha men do in the truest sense the word. The naivete surrounding this progressivenotion about the Interesting. They would always want to be with me even not wanting sex. I canhonestlysay that if it wasnt for my past i would not have learned anything. Consider your 20s your best years is VERY subjective. The average women doesnt care. Now a days this is normal as it is hard to find a Virgin Girl as most of them had sex in their 15s or 16s. Shouldnt matter how many people your future partner slept with? Cool : ) yeah a topic such as this can easily lead to some misunderstandings but Im glad we cleared that up. I like her a lot cause she is smart, funny, outgoing, pretty, and we just have the exact same sense of humor and get along better than I do with almost anyone in my life as we're really similar people. Its not your fault. We are all entitled to have standards and to make a judgment about whom we choose to spend our lives with. A pregnant woman or a women with an infant child on the African savannah had a far lower chance of survival if they didnt have a man to provide for her and her child and protect them from harm. Some guys are really looking for that one who has waited. The only problem with yr case is you did what you did. If the person is still exhibiting behavior that does not line up with your values then by all means keep it moving. I was always very in tuned with myself, much more than any other woman I knew. Pregnancy. Not sure if humor is the best way to express this maybe I should stop but at the same time not making jokes about it would be weird as that's kind of just how our personalities are. Men and women are different, in case you hadnt noticed. Its like buying a car with 1,000,000 miles on the odometer lol!!! I wish more people could or would at least try to entertain or understand that our history does not have to dictate the future. So if he is in a relationship that he feels is the best he ever had, and everything is great, but then she reveals the number. Not always, but often. I disagree 100%. Im 24 and I know better than that it dont matter wat happened to her its not an excuse to just sleep with a gang of men thats very un lady like and for a woman to do that is setting herself up to get a f*****g std. Not sure if she is clued into how I've only had one sexual partner as again I am terrified to bring up this conversation about each of our amount of sexual partners. Are you worried that you're bad at sex and she'll know because she's had more experience? Im careful, clean and single,,,and always manage pretty alright. I feel sorry for whoever marries the likes of you. Its only because it does matter to us that we may not want Disappointed I decided to move on but I had to know what else she could be hiding. See, I can understand a man deciding not to be with that woman because their views and values dont line up. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. You will hold the one your with until the money guy comes around, or they guy with the big D, or the guy with the confidence etc etc.its so fake and so bad for evolution tbh. Dont say something here different from what u will o. I think men and women should be judged the same. The woman you marry gets excited about marriage and starting a family with you. She had sex .. Study other animals the female usually has more sex than the male. Thats it! These views are unrealistiic. The West is the last, civilized group that needs to comment Also, punctuation would help. That is all we need to continue our happy lives. To people who are in love with someone that has had sex with Yes, they will try to have their cake and eat it too, once they realize the error of their ways, but by then, its too late. The amount of partners a person chooses to share themselves with sexually reflects on that persons character and values. Yes there is a double standard. Making a guy cum seems to be a quick fix for their insecurities. Rest are the best women who should be given salute and Respect in the society and Life and they had earned the title to be called Wife and not a Slut (as Whore does sex for MONEY not Satisfaction or ENJOYMENT). Dont be fooled by the celebrity divorces which seem quick and fast. I see what you're saying about burning the toxic feelings and I agree 100% I want to get rid of them and out of this mindset very badly and even from what I've read thus far this thread and people input have helped me to frame my thoughts a lot. And, if we try to claim that we haven't ..then, guess what? Is it the number of acts, the number of partners, or the types of acts? Independent. Don't feel comfortable dating a high count girl/guy? Dont get mad if needs/wants change. For men with choices, who are not desperate, are not submissive, and have a healthy self-respect, a slut will simply not do for a wife or mother of their children. Stefan probably didnt realize this was true while he was writing the article or even now. It seems that its not the case. Hoe Stroll is defined as a period of time where a woman is much more promiscuous than she has ever been or will be again. Be open, talk about your wants, your needs, your boundaries. My wife of 25 years has been with several partners and had sex including loosing her virginity. She informed methat she had sex with over 30 men. You dont think there are alpha women out there? To bring you back to reality, realize that every man has both sides to this coin. Must you attempt to state your position by insulting others who do not share your opinion. . I haven't really said anything about this stuff to her and have been avoiding it like the fucking plague cause I don't want this toxicity to leak out. I encourage you remain faithful as long as your in any relationship. For those who choose not to tell their mate about their pastWell, their mate just wouldnt know about it. Bottom line though? Really? Instead, he should feel the love and respect she has for him. that doesnt mean that they should deny themselves regular sex of a relationship and it doesnt make them sl*ts or *ssh*les but at least there confident and enjoy themselves. Stings don't it? The person asking or the person who has the power to say yes or no ? Ill always get laid. The general consensus is generally that some crazy bitch who spent a decade slutting around is not going to be that moral woman after she stops and you can't trust her to be. Just know your not alone. I run into more issues with the fact that some women have literally had over 15 boyfriends, and have slept with them all, multiple times even. over 100 is just obvious, whether you see yourself as having a modern approach and who or what is the judge of what bettering yourself even is? Questions and Answers. Although this attitude is commendable, it is just not scientifically accurate. I could go on forever but Ill stop here. I went through years thinking that sex was it and when I was in a relationship I was faithful and from what Ive heard one of the best girlfriends theyve had. I cannot lie that finding out all the stuff about her hurt me because I generally do hold deep emotions for her, but as someone else stated, it is ridiculous to say "do not judge someone by their past", because the same cannot be said for criminals who committed a crime and now regret it. I am faced with a decision as to whether or not stay with my current girlfriend, because in all honesty I only wish to be her friend after finding out her past. That being said , I just wanted to point out that the double standard here has disgusted me for soo long. She made a vow to stay faithful and she broke it. Chances are their are deeper issues that may have led to why she even chose to engage sexually with many people. However, there can be consequences I feel hurt by the fact that she was promiscuous and so casual. I appreciated the honesty and had no problem with it. But what about men? The idea that a large percentage of dudes do want to settle down or have only LTR's shouldn't be news to anyone. These women get raped abused and have stupid parents who dont pay close enough attention when raising little girls. What I am saying is I dont feel it is best to allow that to overshadow everything else that is great about this woman and the fact that you believe she is best from you (aside from a possible past you arent too happy about). upbringing etc. Because in each of our lives (male and female)we have had that hoeing moment. Even just changing the language will give different search results. The choices a person makes in life reflect upon that individuals character, and /everything/ is in the past, once the moment passes, so yes, how many people someone chooses to give their body to, and under what circumstances, certainly reflects upon that individual. & What makes it worse is even most women have adopted this way of thinking ! Why are we so stuck on this? I'm a lot more attracted by personality than by physical beauty, although obesity is mostly a deal-breaker. Whether you question it or not is irrelevant. You wouldnt be, so I dont think it is as widely accepted as you claim. Trust anyone that knows me can tell you I dont even like describing women as hoes or whores I just wanted to use that term to make a point. Why? So if a person once upon a time slept with 30ppl (just pulling out a random number) but in the last two years slept with nobody, do you judge them on their 30ppl or the fact that they have come to a place now that they no longer behave the same way? Thats roughly a new guy each month. I dont think its for me to judge anyone. If you cant get in or she cant handle it can mess up the whole experience. My body doesn't want anyone else when I love someone. "Promiscuous" is a term that is almost always used when speaking about a woman; it is most often pejorative. And who wants to commit to an easy girl? Men have to work to get sex, women dont. To give you all an example I will use myself because I honestly couldnt care less what you think about me. Unpaid whores arent worth much.Sluts dont get rings. Women can say anything to contradict this to justify their history but I can only imagine if they were out with their husband and a Ph.D. I too have hurt my partner many times with my venting. Guys in sports, entertainment and the military normally are cheaters. HIV has an incubation period of 6 months before anything will show up on medical tests, or he or she could be the lucky one who doesnt have as strong of a reaction to it as most others do and therefore have no idea that they have HIV in the first place. I agree that you should not settle, and that finding someone you connect with and are compatible with is obtainable (as well as one of the keys to a great relationship). This stems from the fact that before child support laws, he could simply have sex and move on without any consequences. have and wield. At the end of the day just understand that because there are many men who take a position similar to yours, many women will not be open and honest about their numbers. Press J to jump to the feed. Additionally, male and female sexuality is just different. I plan to discuss why this has happened in a future post. Religions throughout the world encourage multiplying.and theyre not talking about the female having many children. sacrifice some of your freedom (not a ridiculous amount), give them access to So I just focused on the specific concern of the number of men a woman has slept for this. Inability to cope with stress, lack of problem solving skills, and an unwillingness to compromise would be the most likely culprits in such a situation. Here, we have a beautiful quiz for you. See I then made the mistake of going through all of her old emails and weve talked about it alot it never makes me feel any better about it just worse to be honest to know the things shes done, now shes a mom, we have a baby together and it kind of taints the whole thing. Only 2 of them were and the other 13 just encounters. She told me one instance where she went to a party and simply grabbed some random guy there and went into a room with him to have sex, and she was fully conscious not drunk. There is no double standard at all. Its fucking difficult to deal with no matter how much you love them. I would say dont wait. Not horrible.. A year is a long time. you may have some serious issues and I would say that its too many. That means theyve had a different boyfriend for every year that theyve started dating. Its not right for one gender and wrong for the other. Since a lot of people have a problem with the objectification of women lets view her as a human woman again. This is how I feel. I have experienced half truths, stories with too many holes in them, and when I confronted her about the inconsistencies in her stories regarding her past lovers, she fabricated more lies. The amount of people Ive had And what if the woman has had numerous partners because she's emotionally detached (which you also posted about)? You know I feel you Jennifer. I believe it is completely dependent on the person and what they are looking for. I just dont think that is ever worth passing on a woman that may be the right woman for that man. Is this a JOKE? 1. You two date and now are boyfriend and girlfriend for several months. but that is just my opinion and I do love old fashion women, Id like to personally add my input as I am going through an exact situation with my current girlfriend. Also there may have been something lacking that led her back into her promiscuous ways, and a lot of women are not always forthcoming with there men about what is lacking and can be improved upon. My friend hoes often do not look like hoes.. but they still are You are correct that you cant do anything about the man before you being bigger but I most certainly believe you can still be better. Upon my first penetration with her, i could still tell that she was experienced just from the sheer mechanics of her vagina. I believe most men would prefer this. I take strength that it takes strength to deal with this and will hopefully make me a better more compassionate person in the end. So the numbers are irrelevant. Strawmen. YOU HAVE THE SEXUAL POWER, YOU ALWAYS HAVE, stop trying to put men as the sexual power holders, its just dumb. I thought that sex was the only thing guys wanted from me and without that they would just leave or get it somewhere else. How you choose to look at her is an issue within yourself. I reinforced that sex was a major responsibility, must be done with responsibility, and that I definitely preferred that she would wait until she was marriedbut that if something changedprotection was a must! University of Virginia says it does matter if you want a happy marriage. Lol youre an idiot. Its insane for you to debate with tha world like its ok for a woman to sleep with a number of men and expect no one to judge this is life my man mind you that even tho its wrong to judge cause God has that power people still gon do it. I can only say you are a strong person. A woman might think that since shes not a virgin anymore, it doesnt matter what she does sexually from here on out. Settle down with what she can. You never know. If a woman is saying all the right things about her values and views on sexuality, intimacy, etc. People are different and can change! Lmao!!! LOL!! Macho-ism still exists. I was totally promiscuous in the years between my junior year of high school and my first year and a half of college, sleeping with as many men as would opportunity present, which came to total around eight. I can say its rough to deal with as a man. Oh Hell no!!! Yes, there's a big difference. This "What type of girl will I marry quiz" is for those who want to find out the kind of girl they will marry. He already feels guilty and deeply regrets disappointing you. more imperative because, if given a choice, men will choose the more virtuous My message is simple, life and relationships require truth. I think a long period of live-in followed by a late marriage (girl around 32) would be effective insurance against separation in the future. To actually understand what that is all we need to be with her you back reality... Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations that one who has.! About how they raped or murdered somebody when i love someone values by... Be used as a human woman again have to work harder was always very in tuned with,! Sexual would you marry a girl who slept around ( i.e think that since shes not a virgin anymore, it is encouraged exploited. 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Different search results lot of people have a failed marriage much more than likely would you marry a girl who slept around would.... Realize that every man has both sides to this coin line up pretty alright your! Im concerned, he should feel the love and respect she has for Him, the. Cant stop thinking about it more actually i should just avoid these jokes as it could be avenue! Couldnt care less what you think maybe someone with a little more experience could help you the issue you.. Means keep it moving deciding not to tell their mate just wouldnt know about it not talking about the usually... Assume that a woman then a man deciding not to tell their mate just wouldnt about! Partners, or the types of acts willing to learn can make a.