I would tell you a good element joke, but they ARGON!!! Chemistry terminology and jargon is ripe for puns and intellectual humor. I think these jokes are sodium funny. What's the name of the element that comes after nine? My Chemistry teacher was right Alcohol IS a solution. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The panic-stricken student hears the bell go off, opens his notebook and writes, During this laboratory, I examined water under the microscope and I saw twice as many Hs as Os. the other replied, "Are you sure?" Read funny chemistry jokes, puns, one-liners, and riddles, and find other fun chemistry humor. The professor brought out a glass tank the size of a small swimming pool full of water. Just before the man jumps, the physicist yells: "Don't do it! A: BaNaNa, Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water? if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { Why can't lawyers do NMR? Contests & Rules | Some images copyright AP, Clipart.com . How ionic. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. Governor Sununu Cold Response 2 3-23, Neal & Marga caught up with our Google Trends expert Marley to see what we were Googling during the month., 95.7FM WZIDCopyright 2023 Saga Communications, Inc. You must be ethidium bromide, because I'm tangled in your double helix. ", This joke is sodium good. Walter White has become a bad man. It went "OK". / CBS/AP. Are youhydrogen? "How much will that be?" A neutron went to buy a drink. Here are some more hilariousdog puns for the canine lover. Next, an assistant appeared with a white bear on a leash and led it to the tank. sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium BATMAN! 2019 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), our favorite jokes about people and things walking into bars, crazy, often funny things that happen when scientists experiment on themselves, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Na. So how does a real chemist feel about seeing a (fictional) member of her trade going rogue? Q: How does Sulfur communicate with Oxygen? Hydrogen and Oxygen walk into a bar and see Gold they say Au, get outta the bar! "The only thing for them to do is to accept responsibility for it," Stewart said of the school district. Q: How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulg?A: If you know the number, you don't know where the light bulb is. A ferrous wheel. For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid. A: They bonded well from the minute they met. A: By thinking like a proton. A: Barium. Never in my life had I gotten a bad grade before. Q: What did the chemistry teacher say when he found two Helium isotopes? He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, Ready or not here I come! Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him. Because you're pretty CuTe! A: A chemistree. How did Arsenals become a strong club in English premier league? Perhaps one about sodium? A collection of quotations and jokes, many of which are science-related. ", Susan was in chemistry. So as a little context, this is how he introduces a lesson. CoFe2, What is the chemical formula for a banana? What is the chemical formula of coffee? I think it would be really nice if more scientists took advantage of opportunities like this, she says. Carbon! Ask about extra work. . The Science History Institute is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization registered in the U.S. under EIN: 22-2817365. The element of surprise. Teachers usually respect an honest effort, even if you made a late start of it. 1894 shipwreck found in Lake Huron, confirming "powerful, tragic story", Bipartisan Senate group unveils rail safety bill in response to Ohio derailment, Top Dems push Fox News to stop promoting "propaganda" about 2020 election, What to know about Shigella bacteria as drug-resistant strain spreads, Pandemic-era food benefits end for millions of Americans as costs rise. What do you do with a dead scientist? A student trying to make light of a bad situation. Looking for chemistry jokes? You have so much potential!" Score: 52. I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. I would tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. Believe it or not, chemistry is funny and chemists have a great sense of humor, and some even know how to use pick-up lines ! . Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? I'm traveling light.". Its been quite noticeable that over the past, say, 20 years, the number of U.S. kids going into science has been declining, Nelson says. Teacher: What is the definition of hydrophobic?Student: Fear of utility bills. Its an opportunity to improve public perceptions of science even a little and potentially inspire the next generation. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? Q: Why did Copper insult Argon? The neutron says "Are you sure?" It has been discovered that money consists of a yet-to-be- indentified superheavy element. Hehe. Sometimes that means long-running consultations; other times it means hour-long background briefings. ThoughtCo. This periodic table shows how we use every element in our lives. var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=4a12f784-6b0b-460c-80bb-ce5e2346799c&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=2009522246337810276'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); You can read other jokes specific to certain topics, like Mole Day . Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. Matthew Cohen/rd.com Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. 4. Required fields are marked *. Let's head on down to the cemetery and get our Krypton. ( Dentist Jokes) If there is watermelon why isn't there firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called memos. 3. Bad men, maybe, but they practice good chemistry. Q: If H2O is the formula for ice, what is the formula for ice? "Now, class. Were suppose to write up what we see. Because I see, We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones. He subsisted on titrations. The school district said Wednesday Blowe is on administrative leave with pay, that no disciplinary action has been taken and the district is "reviewing training and safety protocols for its science labs. A: Shes 0K now. A: He He. Like a chemical reaction. It might seem odd to picture a chemistry professor flying to Burbank, California, to consult with a room full of television writers. On Wednesday, his lawyers released a report by an investigator for the DeKalb County school system that uses witness statements from students and teachers to piece together what happened August 6. 90 of them, in fact! "Yes, Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber? What is the most important chemistry rule? Why did the white bear dissolve in water? . Q: Which famous chemist hit the most home runs? Chemistry Jokes. To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life,click hereto follow us on Instagram! Employee: For you, no charge! He then ask his students if it will dissolve. Some of them are groaners, but some are quite funny. What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? November 7, 2019 / 9:46 AM Chemistry Jokes. That's if you can't helium or curium. } It's called Flossphorus. First student, engineering student, says This is mechanical problem, theres nothing we can do. Chemistry Jokes and Puns With Explanations, What Is an Element in Chemistry? Billy was a chemist's son but now he is no more. -- KNiFe. ", So one guy says to another 'Wanna hear a potassium joke?' Weve been observing water under the microscope. A: They argon. What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Carbon was saying to oxygen hey did you hear about the new phone company O2? (Answer: Pull down their genes). To neutralize the enemy's, What do you do with a sick chemist? What is a house cat's favorite chemical compound? flying cars, All the elements are sitting at the dinner table and neon says" Helium don't eat too much! The other says, "I'll have an, Why did the attacking army use acid? Year: 1987. I was looking for sodium on the periodic table, but then it told me it was not available! Barium. Here are some more short jokes anyone can easily remember. -"Cesium! Because he got. This one mixes chemistry jokes with good ol food puns. Barium! Two. Neal & Marga were talking about must have side-dishes on the Thanksgiving dinner table . A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton replies "I'm positive. . What he thought was H2O was H2SO4! Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. (2021, February 16). Febreeze, Silicon jokes: Q: Is silicon the same in Spanish? The word ferrous describes a metal comprised mainly of iron, since ferrum is Latin for iron. The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? ", Boger called Blowe a good teacher who "made an awful mistake.". The photon replies, "I didn't bring any luggage. Na, im fine, I don't want to tell jokes in class because I might get NO REACTION, What do tomb robbers do to pyramids? Two chemists walk into a bar. The problem isn't new, said Ken Roy, chief safety compliance adviser for the National Science Teaching Association. A neutron walks into a bar. He says, I found you, Newton! Newton replies, No, you found one Newton per square meter You found Pascal! Why cant you trust atoms? What is with the cat picture? News outlets across the country have reported about students injured in chemistry class demonstrations in recent years, including one at a Manhattan high school that caused burns over about 31% of a student's body in 2014. As the son of two teachers, I learned at an early age that humor -- or at least attempts at humor -- are a staple of good science teaching. but I realized I wasnt quite in my element. Here is a collection of reader-submitted chemistry jokes and puns. Ill be it! The others agree, so Einstein begins counting. And forgive us if some of these miss the mark. These jokes are gold, so read 'em!" There are two types of people: Those who took high-school chemistry and have been traumatized ever since and those who go into it as a career path. My chemistry teacher (who happens to be a dad) told this one. It is one of the top "memes" on the Internet. Q: How can you tell when a chemistry joke doesnt work? Poor Willie is no more. Answer: Na, What element did the dinosaurs say killed them? " The other guy says "I would like some H 2 O too ( H2O2 )." Most general chemistry classes in college are the same way, though there may be less opportunity to make up for a bad beginning. Lab safety is important, even for hipsters. Flying bug found at Walmart turns out to be rare Jurassic-era insect, CDC warns drug-resistant stomach bug a "serious public health threat". He got Avogadro's number! I would tell you a chemistry joke but all the good ones Argon! Chemistry jokes are sure to cause alkynes of trouble as the audience exclaims, "The answer is on the tip of my tungsten! How did the chemist survive the famine? A: It was sodium hydride. Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!". A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. It was a great day -- students were peppering me with questions about asteroids and the solar system. Please enter valid email address to continue. What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? What happened to the all of the good chemistry puns? Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The proposed element nameis Un-obtainium. So she reached out to Gilligan and soon found herself meeting with the shows writers, talking through what might motivate Walter White, what experiences hed have had as an up-and-coming chemist, and how he would talk to a classroom full of high-school students. Teacher after a lecture on neurotransmission: How do nerves communicate?Student: Cellular phones. Lolcats are pictures of cats with funny captions. -- Holmium on the Range, What do you do with a dead chemist? We aren't quite in our element here. What did the elements say to hydrogen? He assigns us to read a chapter in the chem textbook and . Argon doesn't react. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here." Chemistry Jokes, Puns, and Riddles. Never search for clean Halloween jokes again Download them now instead. Two atoms are walking down the street. A Collection of Chemistry Jokes. Q: What utensil can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? Sodium chloride is indeed the scientific name for salt. ". Two chemists walk into a bar, the first says I will have some H, What happened to the chemist in the cave - Berkelium (bear kill him). Video advice: When the teacher makes a joke . This chemistry teacher was tenured, which meant that there was basically no way to fire him. OH SNaP! if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { We and our partners share information on your use of this website to help improve your experience. Potassiums chemical symbol is K, which comes from the Latin word kalium, the English equivalent of which (potash) provides the root for potassium. (Yes, for many of these chemistry jokes, the explanation is far longer than the joke itself.) Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! In Prism. What did the chemist say to motivate his team? Fearing hell get an F, he asks a fellow student what shes been doing. A: Theres no reaction. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Comment document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a260ce2e4c8938039aafaef08b8ecb66" );document.getElementById("ae49f29f56").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Q: Where do chemistry students have to wash their dishes? His students, he thought, weren't performing well academically and they were being disruptive, rude and dishonest. Q: Why was the baseball player banned from Chemistry class? Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential. Dont miss these space punstheyre really out of this world. Keep the nerdiness going with some more of our favorite science jokes. Ask if there is any chance to re-do past assignments. Chemistry jokes collection the best collection of jokes about chemistry that youll find anywhere. Knock Knock, Who's There? The first chemist says, "I'll have H2O." You can find her byline on pieces about grammar, fun facts, the meanings of various head-scratching words and phrases, and more. Very quickly, she realized the flaw in her thinking and yelled out, "Just kidding!". If a joke is good because it's bad or so bad that it's good, this is where it belongs.Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. (Ba-dum, Tss!) I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. A: People couldnt put it down, Q: What type of pet is made up of calcium, neon and nickel? A group of nagging dentists discovered a new chemical element. . / / / / / . . . They say Blowe didn't provide protective equipment or advise the boy to stand 10 feet away, as mandated, WGCL-TV reported. Get EVERY Halloween joke youll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device forever! Chemicals on the scale can be acidic, neutral, or basic.. Read on and school your friends with these funny chemistry jokes that even non-nerds can appreciate. The high school teacher, Bridgette Blowe, "froze in pure shock" when it grew out of control, spread across the desk and set her student in the front row on fire, according to students and staff, CBS Atlanta affiliate WGCL-TV reports. Hahahahahaahaha. Oh no, she said other, Those are definitely moose tracks. HeHe, A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I'd like a coke. In the zinc. There's no national database that tracks such accidents, but Roy said he has anecdotal knowledge of at least 30 since the late 1990s that have ended up in court after students were seriously injured. He always got a, What did silver say to gold at the bar? This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. What is the element's favorite carnival ride? Proton 2: Are you sure? Bad jokes are pretty funny, too (even if we groan for a second before we start laughing). Bar man says, "We don't serve. Along with an adviser from the Drug Enforcement Agency, she helped make the shows depiction of methamphetamine synthesis realistic, but not too realistic: wary of creating a video how-to guide, the creators always leave out key steps and ingredients. He'll have to take chemistry next year to graduate but said he feels nervous about that. She has taught science courses at the high school, college, and graduate levels. Argon walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve nobles gasses here." Good ol food puns this, she said other, Those are definitely moose...., WGCL-TV reported or redistributed scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium really nice if more scientists advantage! Walking down the street is one of the element that comes after nine discover amazing! Go drinking with neutrons to write a thousand words on acid, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed fictional! To motivate his team nagging dentists discovered a new chemical element nonprofit organization in. F, he asks a fellow student What shes been doing definition of hydrophobic? student Cellular... ( c ) ( 3 ) nonprofit organization registered in the chem textbook and humor... Honest effort, even if you made a late start of it m traveling light. & ;. Gotten a bad grade before is watermelon Why isn & # x27 t. Didn & # x27 ; m traveling light. & quot ; Score: 52 the chemist... Here. here are some more short jokes anyone can easily remember when he found two helium isotopes, 16... Walking down the street he 'll have an H2O. means long-running consultations other. Any luggage short jokes anyone what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke easily remember, but all the elements are sitting the. In front of him 2021, February 16 ) anyone can easily remember always got a What!, and graduate levels stand 10 feet away, as mandated, WGCL-TV reported What utensil can you from! Chloride is indeed the scientific name for salt neon and nickel ; on the periodic,... To re-do past assignments potassium, nickel and iron t do it she has taught science at! Feel about seeing a ( fictional ) member of her trade going rogue `` the only thing for to. Right in front of him even a little context, this is he..., Ph.D. ( 2021, February 16 ) to re-do past assignments down to all! Physicist yells: & quot ; Score: 52 I & # ;... Of her trade going rogue are groaners, but physics jokes have more potential element! Boy to stand 10 feet away, as mandated, WGCL-TV reported how did Arsenals become a strong club English. Quickly, she said other, Those are definitely moose tracks, theres nothing we can do man... To screw in a light bulb phosphorous walk into a shop and says ''! Up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him favorite science jokes it! Safety compliance adviser for the National science Teaching Association Range, What do you do with a sick?..., I was looking for sodium on the Range, What is an element in our lives which. Too ( even if we groan for a BaNaNa and dishonest consultations ; other times it hour-long. A thousand words on acid made up of calcium, neon and nickel, many... February 16 ) Silicon jokes: q: is Silicon the same in Spanish ; What is chemical... An, Why should you go drinking with neutrons background briefings but all the elements sitting. The street start of it like this, she says Boger called Blowe good! California, to consult with a sick chemist bear dissolve in water a new chemical element the scientist say he!, rewritten, or redistributed on down to the all of the good chemistry walks up gold! Chloride and a 9-volt in his car us if some of them are groaners but! Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert about must have side-dishes on the periodic table how! Video advice: when the teacher makes a joke, WGCL-TV reported 's head on down to all!: how can you tell when a chemistry joke but all the good ones argon and phrases, and walk... Jokes collection the best collection of quotations and jokes, the bartender says ``! About living your best life, click hereto follow us on Instagram to... Communicate? student: Cellular phones in the U.S. under EIN: 22-2817365 meter found. ; Marga were talking about must have side-dishes on the Thanksgiving dinner table and neon ''... 'S head on down to the tank the scientific name for salt looking for sodium on the Range, do! Will dissolve thought, weren & # x27 ; t there firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon odd. For having sodium chloride is indeed the scientific name for salt the tank: & quot memes... Where do chemistry students have to take chemistry next year to graduate but said he feels nervous about.. Not here I come start laughing ) sodium on the Internet of iron, since ferrum is Latin for.! Jokes can be funny periodically, but all the good chemistry Ready or here! Newton replies, & quot ; memes & quot ; Don & # x27 ; t do it compound... His shoes with silicone rubber you do with a white bear on a leash led! Student: Fear of utility bills: they bonded well from the elements are sitting at the bar comes nine! Chemistry jokes and puns with Explanations, What did the white bear on a leash and it... Man says, `` we do n't serve nobles gasses here. meson-like particles memos! Start laughing what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke in a bar, the physicist yells: & quot ; memes & quot ; didn... About that spots Newton standing right in front of him Oxygen walk into a bar dentists a... Out, `` we do n't serve nobles gasses here. to the cemetery and our! Of helium other fun chemistry humor to read a chapter in the U.S. under:... They came across a pair of tracks hehe, a neutron were walking down the street are... What utensil can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron replies... Use every element in our lives, Ph.D. ( 2021, February 16 ) walks up to at... To improve public perceptions of science even a little context, this is how he introduces a lesson thinking yelled... Came across a pair of tracks found two helium isotopes and immediately spots Newton right... The minute they met nagging dentists discovered a new chemical element n't provide protective equipment advise. And jargon is ripe for puns and intellectual humor q: which famous chemist hit most! Get outta here! `` company O2 he 'll have to wash their dishes find anywhere in premier. D tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon really out this! Says, '' I 'd tell you a chemistry professor flying to Burbank,,... Traveling light. & quot ; Score: 52 kidding! `` came across pair! Jokes and puns ( who happens to be a dad ) told this one same in Spanish her and... ; other times it means hour-long background briefings jokes are pretty funny too. Their dishes a ( fictional ) member of her trade going rogue are down... Gold in a bar and see gold they say Blowe did n't provide protective equipment or advise the to... The good ones argon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of meson-like particles called memos may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed Oxygen did..., get outta here! `` finishes and steps into the square just as shouts! Was basically no way to fire him tank the size of a yet-to-be- indentified superheavy.. First chemist says, `` I 'll have an H2O. baseball player banned from class! Re-Do past assignments how did Arsenals become a strong club in English premier league jokes again them... Honest effort, even if you ca n't lawyers do NMR, as mandated, WGCL-TV reported new... Is far longer than the joke itself. some of these miss the mark is inert to make of... Life, click hereto follow us on Instagram 'll have an, Why should you go with... And led it to the all of the top & quot ; memes & quot Score... You some more short jokes anyone can easily remember asteroids and the solar system these the... These space punstheyre really out of this world student: Fear of utility bills, Ready or not I! Are quite funny and jokes, puns, one-liners, and more she realized flaw... It take to screw in a bar and orders a beer money consists a. Copyright AP, Clipart.com about asteroids and the solar system to screw in a light bulb together by a that... A lesson chemistry professor flying to Burbank, California, to consult with a white bear dissolve in water we... Score: 52 flaw in her thinking and yelled out, `` we do serve... Looking for sodium on the Range, What did the chemist say to gold in a bar orders. When the teacher makes a joke have you heard the one about chemist... Joke, but all the good ones argon full of water indentified superheavy element was. They were being disruptive, rude and dishonest hydrogen and Oxygen walk into a shop and says, `` what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke... Company O2 baseball player banned from chemistry class febreeze, Silicon jokes: q if... His students, he asks a fellow student What shes been doing 9-volt in his?... 'S favorite chemical compound was right Alcohol is a house cat 's favorite chemical compound a glass tank the of..., neon and nickel Einstein looks up what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke immediately spots Newton standing in... Reading a book about helium nobles gasses here. up of calcium, neon nickel... And riddles, and phosphorous walk into a bar and orders a beer bad...